Welcome to the Official Blog of ParentJobNet

Friday, April 9, 2010

Becoming an "Instinctive" Parent

  Parents, you've been through this scenario. You finally decide to have a child after a period of time. The miracle of birth happens and you have a beautiful baby boy/girl in your arms. Now comes the tough part: raising your child. How are you able to cope? Do you think you can raise your child properly to survive? Here's the thing: there's no one right way to raise your child.
  I was reading an column on the NY Post about an author named Ada Calhoun, who recently wrote a book called "Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids". The idea behind the book is that Ada wishes parents to go with their gut feelings when it comes to raising kids. After all, doing so much research and listening to other people's opinions on how to raise kids can be very stressful. I actually agree with her. You may start to become paranoid and stressed out.  Ada argues that the age of the Internet has become such a huge burden on parenting. There's too much advice and too many opinions on parenting. You don't know who to trust or what to believe.
  I think parents can be way too strict or way too lenient when it comes to raising kids. Parents need to find that perfect balance. I know a parent who spoils her child like crazy. If she gets agitated, the only way she can be happy is if she gets something fun to play with, technology-wise. Once she gets that, she's fine. It is very ridiculous. I have to wonder what kind of person the child will grow up to be in the future. These days, it seems like certain parents don't know how to raise their kids properly. They just let the "real world" take of them while they're busy working. That's irresponsibility & a lack of common sense in parenting. There are also parents who are obsessed with the details of kids' clothes/rooms/cribs/etc. They can't get to sleep because they're always worried about their kids' reactions to certain stimuli. Parents are getting themselves worked up for no reason at all. As long as your kid turns out fine, then you shouldn't sweat the details. Another parent I know just has her kid applied to multiple after-school programs while she works. She also limits his food intake to a huge degree because she's afraid that her kid will become obese. The kid is left stressed out, tired, hungry, and doesn't seem to spend much time with his parents during the daytime hours.
 Which is why when Ada says that parents need to trust themselves in parenting, there's a good reason for that. I mean, think about how your parents raised you, did they do a good job? Did they raise you properly? If that's the case, then raise them the way your parents raised you. Think about how you developed yourself in a positive manner. Believe in yourself. Of course, this varies depending on your background. I grew up in an Asian family. Asian families are stereotypically known to be very strict. My family was actually somewhat lenient. I praised them for raising me well (although I still had to learn a few things from personal experience). Don't be afraid of disciplining your child (you have needs too) and also letting them have fun sometimes. EVERYONE needs breaks from time to time. Maintaining that balance is key.
 So, I ask you parents this: who/what do you believe in when it comes to raising your kids?
- Tony

No comments:

Post a Comment